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So, on a hilarious note... [11 Dec 2010|04:25pm]
[ mood | amused ]

On Monday, November 29th, Adam and I went to the 2nd Trimester anatomy screening at American Radiology. This is the appointment where they measure all the baby's parts to make sure it's developing properly (I'm 20 weeks - HALFWAY THERE, WHEEEE!), and they can check to see if it's a boy or a girl. I still don't care to know the gender until it's born, but Adam wanted to know for preparedness-sakes. I told him we could find out, but in order to appease me, we were going to have the ultrasound technician print out a picture of the fancy parts and write out what it is, stuff it in an envelope and the plan was, to open it on Christmas. Adam was cool with that.
We go to the appointment, and a lady with a heavy russian accent is the ultrasound tech. She's pointing to the screen saying things like "There's the heart, there's the kidneys..." And when it comes time to take a picture of the nads, she tells me and Adam to turn away. She types in some stuff, the printer spits out a picture, and she stuffs it in an envelope before I look again. I have to admit, I glanced at the stillframe on the screen, but I didn't see what she typed, nor could I tell what was on the picture, except for a little blue arrow pointing to a select body part.. but in grainy pictures of unborn fetuses, you have to have a very trained eye to be able to tell whether you're looking at a ball sac or a labia, because they're exactly the same thing in utero. It isn't until just before the baby is born that the sac (if applicable) descends out of the body.
So I say to the lady, "How sure are you?" Because, I've heard stories about people who were told they were having one gender, went completely ape-shit specific on nursery room decor and clothing colors, then voila! Baby comes out the opposite of what they thought it was. She said "I ninety-five percent sure. You can never be hundred percent." (In broken english.)

Flash forward to Saturday of the same week. My sister, Brianna, is in town from Oregon, and it's her last night here in Maryland, so we decide to go out and sing karaoke with my mother, my mum's husband, and my dad. Adam and Brianna get trashed that night, and in their rantings back and forth, Adam spills the beans that he looked on the ultrasound tech's screen and he "thinks he saw what it is." Brianna says "Well, don't tell me, cos I don't want a secret that big to keep!"

American Radiology, where I had the ultrasound, had trouble locating my placenta. At the appointment, the Russian lady told me that it was "laying a little low..." meaning, overlapping my cervix slightly. She said not to worry, that only if it's covering the cervix completely did it mean something bad, and that the "something bad" would prolly only mean that I would be a guaranteed c-section. I can handle that. No biggie. A week or so after the appointment, my real doctor calls me and says they "didn't like the results" that were given to them by American Radiology. (Lets call them A.R.) They said not to worry, that A.R. does all sorts of radiology stuff; X-rays, MRIs, ultrasounds for oncolology, and other stuff.. they really don't specialize in pre-natal screening. My doctor advises me to schedule another appointment, this time in the city at Johns Hopkins Hospital, (Lets call them JHH) for some "real results." I had my first trimester screening there, and their equipment was better (because they are motherfucking Johns Hopkins) but the traffic in the city is iffy, parking is a bitch, and the hospital itself is pretty confusing to navigate around in. I know, I should have scheduled the second trimester anatomy screening here in the first place, but I wanted Adam to be able to go with me, and A.R. is in Glen Burnie (like 5 minutes away from the house) so it was more reasonable for both of us to go to on a workday. Well at this point I'm excited to go again, because now, I can get ANOTHER ENVELOPE TO OPEN ON CHRISTMAS!!

I'm talking to the ultrasound technician at JHH, who is a girl about my age who speaks english as a first language. Of course I immediately remember to tell her that I don't want to know the gender of the baby and I ask if she could print it out and put it in an envelope for me, to which she agreed. I pull an envelope out of my purse, and the girl looks at me funny and says "Oh, honey, I would've given you an envelope!" I say to her "Well, I brought one this time because at the appointment I had at American Radiology, I asked the tech to put it in an envelope and she said 'Did you bring an envelope?'" (She did go find one for me, though.)

Then, I think to mention one of my worries: because of my doctor's unwillingness to believe in A.R.'s ultrasound abilites..."What if the envelope you give me has a DIFFERENT GENDER than what's in the A.R. envelope?!"

She finishes measuring some baby parts, she tells me to look away while she gets a close up of the goods, I hear her type some stuff, the printer hums for a second, and then she tells me I can look again. She explains that she hasn't gotten a good look at my placenta yet because my bladder was too full, so I was to go empty my bladder while she went to the back to "get a head start on my paperwork."

After I pee, I come back to the room and sit. She's gone for more than a couple minutes, and when she finally comes back, she says something to the effect of "I was really confused when you said you'd had your appointment with A.R. already, because I thought this was your first ultrasound anatomy screening. So after I realized what you meant, I pulled your file and looked at the pictures that they gave you, and...." she then pauses, shakes her head from side to side and makes a sarcastic noise of shock and disbelief. She says "There ARE two different results in your two different envelopes. I don't even know what the lady at A.R. thought she was looking at in that picture. You need to trust ME, because I do nothing but pre-natal ultrasounds day-in and day-out, and I know what I'm talking about." She then reinstated what my doctor had mentioned about how A.R. does ultrasounds, x-rays and all sorts of radiology, without specializing in one specific thing like they do. She literally said to me, "You need to throw the A.R. envelope away. I'm right. My name is Shannon, and you know where I work."

I'm not throwing the A.R. envelope away, I'm just going to let Adam open the JHH envelope on Christmas because it's a different result that what he "thinks he saw." All I have to do is make sure that he doesn't see this rant I just spent all morning typing anywhere online.

sitting all by yourself?

Happy News. [01 Sep 2010|10:18pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

On August 13th, 2010 I took a pregnancy test to make sure I wasn't pregnant so that I could drink on vacation.

The test was positive.

I may elaborate on this, but so far I haven't had time to sit down and talk about stuff via my fingertips. I just wanted to share my happy news with Livejournal.

sitting all by yourself?

Smell-o-vision. It's real. [04 Nov 2008|07:44pm]
[ mood | nerdy ]

I walk through the off-white hallway to the door, I go in hastily, but once the door closes behind me and I'm officially there, I drop my bag and breathe in. Sometimes I think, wow, my house is going to smell like this someday. I don't know if I like it because it smells good or it's the "comfortable" smell or if I like it for my own selfish taste cos it smells like my dusty, sweaty, boyfriend in an unbostructed by pet-odor environment. It makes you wonder what people think of your house when it smells like dogs and cats and old people cooking cabbage and collards and salt-ham and dumplin's every fuckin' Sunday.

I'm sure I've gotten used to the odor. After a week vacation from it, I can hardly breathe when I walk in the door, and I've been in such houses where they had 2+ dogs (like me and ma) and the smell was overbearing, and I bet people think the same as me, especially the people who have ridiculously clean, floral smelling abodes. Which brings me to my point, I want people to come over my house and smell the flowery, dusty essence of a house lived in, not clean but neat, and say things like "Casey's got a nice house." Someday. When I have a house.

Good house smells:
Dusty potpourri
Nag champa (in moderation)
Pumpkin Muffins
Old books

Smells I dislike:
Cat piss
Dog piss
Wet dog
Dog, in general
Vanilla candles
Chocolate candles
Cat litter
Apple/Cinnamon air-freshener trying to mask aforementioned odors
OId food
Old people
(Pretty much everything here describes my house to a T)

It's election night, and it's rainy and dreary. Adam's working the night shift and I'm keeping an eye out on his apartment. Exploiting his computer mostly. And avoiding my own stinky place.

I wish he was here.

sitting all by yourself?

Jackie, thanks for nudging me. :) [17 Sep 2008|01:38pm]
[ mood | chaos!!!! ]

So I've been cheating on livejournal again, this time with work and my boyfriend. Oh and myspace. (myspace.com/kcpeach)

Here's a picture of Adam and Me:
Yup, we are super adorable.

Today is Adam's birthday, and I played hooky from work today to clean his apartment floor to ceiling. He is going to be shocked, suprized, and hopefully horny when he gets home. ;)

I wish I had more to write about, but I am a buzy bee. Plus, his keyboard is hard to type on, it's one of those ones with the split down the middle. Comfortable and all, I'm just not used to it.

Miss you livejournal, I'll keep reading/writing as long as you exist.

1 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

I never saw it coming. [28 Mar 2008|10:07pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

How am I always in the exact right place at the right time? If I hadn't gone to Jim's Hideaway with my mother the night I met Jeremy Zimmerli, where would I be? Still slumming tables at Bill Bateman’s for 20 bucks a day, probably.
Had I not met Jeremy, I would have never heard of the Irish Channel, and I never would have had that sweet-ass job and made all that sweet-ass money. Kudos, Zimmerli. Kudos to you.
Had I not worked at the Channel, I would have no connections.
Had I not stayed after work to have a beer on the night I was feeling down and thinking I’d lose my job the next day, I wouldn’t have confided in Kevin, Vice President of EMS Technologies in Crofton, and he wouldn’t have handed me his card and said “if they fire you, I’ll give you a job tomorrow.”

I knew 2008 couldn’t suck too bad. The desk job thing is going to be a huge change for me, and will require a lot of budgeting and growing up on my behalf.. I’m not ruling out the idea of table service in the future, I think I will always have a flair for bartending (pun intended..).

So ask me how I’m doing, and here’s what I’ll tell you. I'm freakin peachy man. Had an interview this morning for a graphic design job that I know nothing about and am completely under-qualified for, and the only other interviewee was a deaf guy who showed up late without a translator. And Kevin “doesn’t have time for that shit.” So things are looking pretty good for my inexperienced ass. That’s how the fuck I’m doing.

1 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

Life's like an hourglass glued to the table. [27 Mar 2008|11:56am]
[ mood | busy ]

I broke up with livejournal long ago, to have a fling with the myspace. I'm a douche-bag, so, livejournal, forgive me.

Myspace is fun, it's got pictures, and comics, and quips, and friends...I joined it to keep in touch with friends from an old restaurant job, and ended up befriending everyone on the planet in the mean time while myspace thrived with popularity. Then facebook came along, and apparently facebook is more popular in the UK than myspace, so all my british friends now have a way to keep in contact with me.

Yes, I've fostered them all.

So welcome me back. I'll be reading about you, and I'll have a lot of time on my hands in the future to write about me.

Good to see you guys again.

2 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

I'm back in the game. [01 Sep 2006|02:37am]
[ mood | well, excited, now. ]

I stayed an extra 20 minutes at work tonight to help Noah and Mike get outta there, only to come home by myself anyway. It kinda works out that way. I’m Doogie Howsering it, and it’s a favorite pastime. Earlier today I was thinking about how I miss the lonely high school times. You filled your day with endless banter about the History of the World, the wonder of science, the how-tos on writing great papers and addition and subtraction, then you went home and sulked, listened to angst-y music cos the radio was good back then, and you wrote crappy poems and refused to use a telephone and wondered why nobody loved you as much as they should’ve. I’m not bitter about the past. I’m just re-living it. So it’s comfortable, this time around, because I know what to expect, however, this time around, I know what I’m missing, yet I’m filling my days with mindless drunken repartee from the seediest of Arundel Mills clientele, and spending my nights creating bad music with a bunch of uninspired (but quite inspiring) people, stoned out of my gourd.

I was waiting over here, for life to begin / You were the sunshine, and the front line / I was alone / You were just around the corner from me

My writing style was never really that good. It’s unorganized, and spastic, but if I sit long enough, I can write a hell of a journal entry. I’ve been thinking more and more lately about going back to school. I’m capable, and inclined, but I’m lazy. Whether I take the refresher course at the Broadcasting Institute or work on an Associates degree at the community college, I need something. I hated school, but now that it‘s not there anymore I feel like I‘m missing out on learning something I‘ll need. I want to apologize to all of the History teachers I had in high school because I didn’t read a word out of any of the text books I was given, I just winged it and got by on hope. It’s sick, cos even though I passed through school with the breeze, I learned nothing. If only I could go back…Would I? Would you? High school was the pits, but it had it’s moments. I just wish I’d paid attention at the important ones. When you learn stuff, and stuff.

I don’t need a better thing / I’d settle for less / It’s another thing for me / I just have to wander through this world / Alone

So there’s a good reason why I haven’t gone back yet. Especially now, because work just got a percentage harder; Kate finally decided it was her time to quit, with plenty of notice; her last day is on Friday, and she will be missed. Yesterday, we had the Bar Olympics (FUN FUN FUN! And they didn’t make me win this time, so ever FUNNER, cos I don‘t have to do it again!!) and out of the blue, Jason showed up drunk and pissed off, then something made him really mad and he left in a huff and vowed never to return. Eh. Cool, this means more shifts for kcp! Uncool, this means more TGIFriday’s for kcp. Hello, overtime. Everyone is already over-worked and under-appreciated behind that bar, and some of us have other responsibilities like full time jobs and children to deal with, so losers like Ashleigh, Cameron and myself who have open availability get anally raped at tough times like these when our fellow bartenders all of a sudden drop off the face of the planet. I’m dealing with it ok. I mean, it’s money. Somehow I managed to avoid the summer flu that went around town a few weeks ago. A lot of people are getting sick again, I’m hoping my lucky streak will last.

I’m old enough to feel the way I do / And I know that you are true / It’s just a part of my genes / And you will stay a mile away from me / If you know what’s good for you

Which brings us to a new subject. I might grow out of this smoking thing soon. It fits in the budget, my wallet’s not struggling because of my excessive smoking habits.. I’m just hoping the smoke will clear and I‘ll just get over it already. It just seems more and more necessary day by day. I need a break. For health’s sake. And for growing up‘s sake. I think school would help with that, sorta like a self-discipline regimen. I guess I’d rather spend my money on educating myself than making myself dumber.

On top of a jealous home / She feels she could connect it / He was an opinionated fool / He couldn’t just pretend that she was there in the next room / So you won’t sleep better alone / No they won’t sleep better alone / And they won’t feel better alone

Pete Yorn makes me feel warm and tingly inside.

3 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

The rest is still unwritten. [29 Mar 2006|04:34pm]
[ mood | sorta icky ]

I don’t want friends anymore. Or relationships. Maybe there are a certain few that I need, but other than that I just want to be alone. Spring is here, finally..but I’m still not in the mood. Quitting vices, moving, still gotta do my taxes, gotta hear about Holly’s “new” job, and Steph’s first date with her new douche-bag (hey I didn’t say it, I’ve never met him).. Everything in my mind is just a cluster-fuck of everybody else. I need to work on myself for a minute, but I just have absolutely no fucking interest whatsoever. So I’m just gonna sit at the computer and write about it cos that’s what I do when I’m angsty and despondent. Actually, I don’t even feel like writing about it, it’s a nice day, I ought to do something productive. Oh, I’ll have the usual. A nice heaping scoop of cheesy mashed potatoes and a big side of LIES!!!!!!

I’m disowning my television and my FM radio and all electronics stores, malls and places that play popular music until that god awful Mary J. Blige song is out of circulation. I caught myself singing it the other day, which means that I know the words. The next step is liking it, but no offense Mary J., though I admit this isn’t your worst song yet, I’m just not ready to make that commitment. (but we been too strong fo’ too long)
*sings* “Real love…I’m searchin’ fo a reeal loove..” (Hair weave.. my baby’s gotsa hair weave…)

1 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

Forever detached from my own love life, my crappy job, you know, the usual bitching.. [15 Mar 2006|04:00pm]
[ mood | unreadable. ]

Love is ugly. Relationships, are ugly. I can’t figure out how to have a healthy relationship. I seem to find the one guy in the world who is almost perfect for me, and will do anything for me, but I always get attached to and bothered by the small things that don’t attract me to him.
Friendship is really important to me. I have so much fun with my friends. Friends are people who will never judge you, and if they do judge you, they come to love and understand you again if they really care. Jimmy Eat World has all the answers.
If I let go of all the insecurities and think about it really hard, it’s going to feel good..for awhile. If I let it go on, it’s going to hurt more later. So this gets you saying, “What’s the point?” Point is to have a good time while it lasts and don’t get frustrated with what you can’t say. But why make it last if you don’t feel like it’s making anything more than just complicated?
The box is exciting, because you live outside the box. Everything inside the box is ok, but when you open the box and let your friends see what’s inside, if it bothers, then why bother when you can just be ok outside the box?
I’m trying really hard to put things into understandable terms, but I keep getting lost in my own thoughts. I don’t know what’s right, I don’t know how I’m feeling. I give up, simply because neutral and single is better than good and attached, I think that’s what I’m getting at.

Jesus, I just read what I wrote down and I’m thinking of just clearing it all and saying “blank.”


In work related news, the schedule is funny, and I’m happy. I’m doing my best to not hate my job and start to loathe my co-workers..I know that it took me a very long time to grasp working behind our busy bar, but now that I have I feel like sometimes I pull more weight than others. My trainer/bar mentor seems disgusted at me. She’s gotta say nasty shit behind my back about me, because she talks shit about everyone else who disgusts her with everyone else. I’ve never met someone in my entire 23 years of life who was so angry at the world. On the surface she’s a beautiful person, very bright, very pretty, but inside she’s a raging ball of greed and antagonism. My only complaint is her frustration without reason. She taught me to be super attentive and stay busy, but when I work hard when she’s there or try to help other people, she curses at me for working over people. I don’t know what anyone wants from me at work. Even the managers talk down to me most of the time. Am I not working hard enough? ..cos it’s killing me. All of the bartenders are getting pessimistic about feeling abused. I don’t want to complain anymore, I’m going to focus on making myself happy for a little while.

2 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

"How does Kevin Costner keep getting work?" [20 Feb 2006|02:27pm]
[ mood | befuddled. ]

"I haven't been this confused since the end of No Way Out!"

Hey Taurus, here's your fuckin' horoscope!

Listen to your soul's voice, and you have a good chance to take a quantum leap
when it comes to a certain matter dear to your heart. In order to truly make a
new beginning, you have to leave old beliefs behind.


Rock, Hard place, me. Right in between.

Nada Surf knew in advance I'd be needing this song..I swear it's about me.

You made me feel like I'm ok, I could be happy
Now I can sit, not run away stupidly laughing
Wipe out all self-pity, it's slowing me down
Turn off feeling pretty, dressing up dressing down.
I walk around the city out of my way, looking for something
I've got all that I need to save my day, so why'm I running?
You said I should get professional help, it always makes me cry.
I know I'm just an amateur, but I've gotta try.
I had a birthday party and it was packed, got friends who love me
We hung a disco ball up and watched the lights, they were so lovely
When exactly are we? I get the decades mixed up.
I like the streets when they're empty, I can make the rest up.
Every day is New Year's eve, every night is the last night.
Every day is New Year's eve, every time is the last time.

Nada Surf - Amateur

1 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

If you found out my new year's resolution was abstinance, would you still be interested? [30 Dec 2005|01:57pm]
[ mood | rejected ]

Why do boys love to lie to me? I’m not a fucking liar. I don’t lie. I’m brutally honest even if it bruises my fucking soul. I’ll break someone’s heart if it comes down to being honest and direct. I don’t want to hurt feelings, I just want people to appreciate the truth the way I would.

I don’t want your sexual tension, I just want your FUCKING FRIENDSHIP!

What’s with boys and their four-letter names?

Ryan Dunn owes me flowers. He said he was gonna bring me flowers, and he didn’t. He lied.

Seth Baab owes me a date. 10:30 PM turned into 2:30 AM, and by then, no, I don’t wanna come over. No, I don’t want you to come over. I just wanted you to take me out on our first date. (I say, don’chaknow, you say, you don’t know…I want you..to take me out..) What kind of girl does this one think I am?

(Probably the kind of girl I was with him..and, well, everyone else I gave it up to.) Stupid, stupid, stupid. How can you make the same mistake so many times?

God I’ve been this bottomless pit of loneliness these past couple days. I know that it’s hormones, I know that it will go away within the week, I know I’ll put up a front and be really happy around my friends because they make me feel great, but the second I’m alone I know that I’m gonna let my thoughts wander to all the people who are making me feel like shit right now. Like right now. I’ll probably go into work early today because I have nothing else better to do.

4 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

Give me some sugar, baby. [16 Sep 2005|02:26am]
[ mood | shitty ]

Yuck. Don’t you just hate that “stuck” feeling? I’ve been sick for a week or so and I’m trying to home-remedy myself by sleeping ridiculous amounts, then napping, then eating, then napping, then going to work and not doing anything but stand around and not make money cos I’m content with not waiting on people cos I’m sick, then coming home and eating and sleeping ridiculous amounts. It’s depressing, but I guess it’s working..besides the pain between my eyes, I’m feeling better.
I’m looking forward to Winter. Not headaches, colds, icy fingers and toes, and Christmas, but scarves and hot chocolate and snow and barricading myself indoors bullshitting on the internet, painting, icicles..
I pulled a high school Casey tonight and stayed indoors all night holing up in my room by myself, painting, playing tetris, listening to music, etc. BORING! I finished painting a strawberry, a pepper, and half finished some blueberries and a banana and a sunrise.
I’m painting clouds that look like certain things for John and Leanne‘s housewarming gift, and fruits and veggies with complimentary color backgrounds for my sister Brianna for x-mas.
Maybe I need to be by myself more. I’m very lonely and miserable alone, but I get so much accomplished. Maybe I should stay single for the rest of my life just like all those miserable lonely people I’ve met and wondered why they never got married.

Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blahhh…

sitting all by yourself?

TGIFriday's Annual Bar Flair Competition [15 Sep 2005|12:51pm]
[ mood | dead tired. ]

On Sunday, food, drink, and pouring tests were taken, and whether or not my co-workers failed certain parts on purpose so they wouldn't have to participate in Regionals, doesn't matter, I won, and that's cool.

Yay flair!

(The most expensive Bombay Sapphire and Tonic I've ever served.)

4 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

I am getting old and sick, and older and sicker, and I'm gonna die someday, and that sucks. [17 Aug 2005|07:07pm]
[ mood | fading ]

Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, August 17:
Why settle for half a piece when you could have the whole thing? A little taste
of success just whets your appetite, and there's definitely still room on your
plate. Don't overload yourself, though.

Overload myself? I could barely stand today at work let alone lift an ice bucket, or my legs from a crouching position, or a right index finger for that matter. Allow me to explain:

I’d be in a good mood.. hell, I’d be glowing under the circumstances of last night but I am paying for it harshly today. Thanks to a brace from Felix and half of a generic percocet from Candace D, the back pain is slightly less crippling now.
Sneffi rubbed my back last night with Tiger Balm, and once I‘d sucked down two whiskey sours I was under the impression that my back was fine and “when I get that feeling, I want..sex-u-al healin.’” I heard that song on my way out to the bar last night. The only way this boy was so comfortable to me was (and it’s awful to say, but) he reminded me of several of my ex-boyfriends so I felt like we’d known each other for years. Irish whiskey, Irish sex…both delicious.
Last Thursday, I sliced my knuckle wide open when a glass broke while I was washing it at home. Yeah, at home, so no worker’s comp. On Sunday, I pulled my back out somehow. I worked at night and got off early to hang out with Jake and Sneff and we got hammered and stayed up until the butt-crack of dawn. Mark was in town for the week, and we were sposed to go river-spelunking Monday morning so he came by. We decided not to go because it was getting late, Jeff was out, my back hurt something severe, and I didn‘t want to get my severed finger all bacteria-infected from the river water. When everyone parted ways I slept for a few hours because that night was our official “Bar Cleanup.” How useless did I feel with a bad back and a lame finger?
Two days later, still fucking useless. I am having a bad day.

sitting all by yourself?

All the cool kids are doing it. Why not get bored? [26 Jul 2005|11:53am]
[ mood | WAKE UP!!! ]

Don't do toad, kids.

Your IQ Is 110

Your Logical Intelligence is Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional
Your General Knowledge is Above Average

I'm smart as shit, and totally well-rounded. Come on, boys.

Your Birthdate: April 25

Your birth on the 25th day of the month (7 energy) modifies your life path by giving you some special interest in technical, scientific, or other complex and often hard to understand subjects.

You may become something of a perfectionist and a stickler for details.

Your thinking is logical and intuitive, rational and responsible.

Your feelings may run deep, but you are not very likely to let them show.

This birthday makes you a more private person, more introspective and perhaps more inflexible.

In friendships you are very cautious and reserved.

You are probably inventive, and given to unique approaches and solutions.

Oh, you're so right.

Your Sexy Brazilian Name Is

Fabíola Sarahyba


Your Daddy Is Dennis Rodman

What You Call Him: Big Daddy
Why You Love Him: He's your sugar daddy

These are just getting silly.

You are

4 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

i still love you god damnit. cvd [22 Jul 2005|05:36pm]
"Once Around The Block"

You quiver like a candle on fire
I'm putting you out
Maybe tonight we could be the last shout
But I'm fascinated by your style
Your beauty will last for a while

You're feeling instead of being
The more that I live on the inside
There's nothing to give
I'm infatuated by your moves
I've got to search out for your clues

I want to repair your desire
And call it a gift that I stole from
just wanting to live
Now I see the vision through your eyes
Your innocence no longer fuels surprise

Trying to outrun your fear
Your running to lose, heart on your sleeve
And your soul in your shoes
Take a left, a sharp left
And another left, meet me on the corner
And we'll start again

Badly Drawn Boy
sitting all by yourself?

I <3 NINETY DEGREE ANGLES! [15 Jul 2005|02:01pm]
[ mood | holy shit!!!!! ]

Reasons why I decided to get a Scion xB instead of an Element.

Though I love them both, and really thought I was going to get an Element, I am 2 hours away from purchasing a brand new Scion. I test drove both of them, weighed out the likes and dislikes, and I’ve reached my final decision.

Scion: $15,000
Element: $23,000

Scion: Station wagon! Low insurance.
Element: SUV-like. High insurance.

Scion: I like being close to the ground and being able to reach things in my car, like the radio.
Element: It’s fucking huge, everything is far apart, and it handles like a church van.

Scion: Cute and tall and green. Lots of 90 degree angles!!!
Element: Cute and taller and pumpkin orange and grey..OK so I like the way both of them look.

Gas Mileage.
Scion: 31 mpg. Delicious.
Element: 21 mpg. No fucking bueno.

So I’m gonna be poor again for the next six years. At least I’ll look good.


7 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

BLAH BLAH BLAHHHH. TAKE THAT, WORLD. [11 Jul 2005|02:23pm]
[ mood | as usual. ]

I hate to pull the “misunderstood” card, but that’s kinda how I’m feeling right now.

This comes for everyday life, and I’m 50% positive that it’s not paranoia.

Everyone at work behind the bar has a very different, very jaded opinion of working there. I hate it because I’ve been doing it for almost a year now and my coworkers apparently don’t think I’m measuring up to my ability enough to rotate closing shifts with me. Sure, I’m a spazz, but there is a huge difference between spazzing out on a full-on lunch rush day shift with TOGO’s flying around with only Ms. Doubtfire by my side than there is to a healthy busy night shift with all the support staff I need to keep my cool, and pleasant company sitting at the bar in a relaxed atmosphere where I can be myself.
“You’re not proving yourself.”
Someone is not watching, because everyday I am getting better.
Better as a bartender, and if not better, than more comfortable, and I only realize this when I come into work happy for a PM shift, even when I’m only serving. I’m just not a morning person. I don’t remember the last time they LET ME work a night shift. And it is up to them, they write the schedule. I can’t complain about the tips on a swing shift, but by the time I’m done working eight swings in a row without a day off, I’m exhausted, full of PMS and bleeding like a stuck pig, miserable from being on my feet all day, yeah, I’m gonna bitch and moan until I get the fuck out of dodge. Well now you know how yesterday was.

To get another job during the day would put me in an awkward position. My availablity would serve me only nights behind the bar, but would the schedule just be completely absent of me? Someone would have to work my day shifts until they hired someone else to fill my “shitty bartender we’re gonna give day shifts to” status.

I can’t get another job because my car is about to go up. For the past couple weeks it decides when not to start at very random times. I can’t get another car because I can’t afford it only surviving on day shifts.

I read my horoscope every day, usually after the day has passed, just to see if it was right. Astrology.com has said nothing about career changes and everything about how much I’m showing so much love for “that special someone.” Could someone please stand up and claim the role of that special someone? I don’t think I love anyone right now. Maybe it’s referring to gin-martini drinking Dale, the hottest piece of 30 year old ass to ever sit in front of me and straight faced tell me I was gorgeous. I shudder to think of his age, because I tend to like them younger than me, nineteen seems to be the most popular. I’ve had teeny crushes on the following since Van Doren and I broke up: Jake at first until we became siblings, Matt M who I just wanted to do it to cos I liked his freckles, Steve K who I still adore to this day but doesn’t have time for me, Matt S who disappeared and I haven’t been bowling since, Mike L who almost gave it up to me in a fun drunken one-night-stand in a parking lot and didn’t for obvious reasons, and Dave, who probably wised up and realized that the leech on his arm was actually a very good friend and an incredibly beautiful woman who will have more passion for him than I probably ever will..and out of all of these, ladies and gentlemen, I chose to give my time, energy, and money to a creep.
You still owe me by the way, I know you need a car, but I need a down payment on a new one. You should feel lucky you’re not paying me child support you bastard.
I thought PMS stood for pre-menstrual syndrome, but apparently it spreads out over the course of three weeks for me.

4 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

Toro rojo es no bueno. [05 May 2005|06:29pm]
[ mood | numb ]

My parents stopped taking care of me at age 17, health bill wise, and I have done a very bad job of taking care of myself since then. I need to go to a doctor. I am having close-to blackouts, and I heard recently that Red Bull is really bad for you, but I’ve been addicted to it for the past year a half. I realized this when I had to slap my own wrist for reaching for one in the fridge today.

“Casey, you don’t need it!!”

Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone...Five Five Oh Five baby!

2 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

Do-do, do-do-doo, doo-doo-doo... (sing to the tune of policy of truth) [04 May 2005|12:42am]
[ mood | excellent! ]

Take life as it comes, straight, no chaser.” -bush (The band, not the pres.)

I am severely addicted to freezer-pops. I like the pink and blue ones best.
Here’s the week in review. I hope it amuses.

The wedding was hilarious. Going anywhere in my mother’s car is a trip, because the stale smell of a hundred million cigarette butts (and not just any cigs, Winston full flavored) always makes for a nauseatingly good time.
Rumors circulated around my mother’s family about how extravagant this wedding was going to be. “It’s at a luxurious castle in the hills and her father paid some 75 bucks for each person’s meal at the reception.” My grandmother and all the old ladies were sitting around a few weeks ago and they were all bitchin about the bride, the decisions for her wedding, how she’s gonna be a “military wife” and how they’re only in it for the money and how she’s so ugly and plain looking... But if you knew my family, you’d know that my cousin isn’t such a good looker himself, and if you have a good relationship and military status with any sense you’d get married, cos couples get more cash out of the military and living on base is fucking free. Do it, I say.
It poured down rain the minute we walked out the door to leave, so we got soaked on the way to the car. We couldn’t roll the windows down to smoke cigarettes so we smelled like wet ass when we arrived. Maryvale, the “castle,” actually ended up being a catholic boarding school. There were maybe 50 chairs in the audience, and a cool staircase over top of them for the wedding party to walk down. The service was nice, and the bride looked radiantly gorgeous.
I was super hungry so I couldn’t wait to see that 75 dollar meal. Cheese, bread, veggies, dip, (the usual) were served as appeteasers, then, the salad: iceberg lettuce, sliced almonds and mandarin oranges soaking wet in what tasted like watered-down vinegar. Gross. This meal better be delicious. When the entrees came out there was an option of a juicy filet mignon or a vegetarian pasta dish. The steak looked sooo gooood, but my mother quickly informed me as everyone was being served it around us that that was not what she had ordered. The caterer came back with two plates and said “Who ordered the pasta?”
A heaping pile of asparagus, and about a half of a handful of tri-colored penne noodles, al-dente, sprinkled with grated parmesan cheese. What. The. Fuck. Figures that out of a hundred fifty possible vegetables in this whole world, asparagus would be the choice. It is singled out as the one vegetable that “I don’t really like that much.” I didn’t eat it. Everything on the plate kinda had the “soggy asparagus smell.” My aunt sitting across from me had ordered the steak, and she took one bite and stopped. It was practically frozen in the middle, lightly browned on the outside and cool to the touch. We looked around. No one had been given a steak knife so everyone was chowing down on raw meat cut with butter knives. Odd. The reception was short and lifeless and mum and I got on the wrong loop of the beltway on my direction going home, so the entire night was shit, but hey, I got a funny story out of it.

My birthday party was fantastic. Nuff said. But I’ll elaborate anyhow, because that’s what I do. I got so drunk off of Tequila Sunrises and Bushmills Irish Whiskey, sang karaoke, everyone came, total fucking blast.
Strike that, the past week has been nothing short of fantastic.

Shout out to amymazing, you made my day sunshine. I was in a surly mood this morning and I checked my email and found your lj comment from the previous entry and I swear I about cried. You are such a sweetheart, I love your writing more I assure you, but I will continue to write about the mellow drama (not a typo) and hopefully we’ll see something soon (oh yeah alliteration) from your fingertips.

Total awesomeness. I’ve met new people (military boys that came in the bar), enjoyed myself in public (twice, drunk) kissed a boy (oh it was so unexpectedly nice), and best of all, I feel complimented. There is nothing better than people letting you know they appreciate you. The morale around work has improved a great deal I must say. Great week to say the very least.

Tonight, I went with Wesley (one of the military guys) to get tattoos. He didn’t have any at all yet, and he’d been thinking of a skull and crossbones or a pirate flag, so I suckered him into getting inked, it was awesome. I took him to the place where I got my first tattoo, a home business in “dirty” Dundalk called Alch’s (sounds like ouches). I got a thirteenth star above my right breast in light brown. Right now it looks burgundy because of the blood, but when it heals and fades it will look like a birthmark in the shape of a star! Ha-haa!!

“You’ll see your problems multiply if you continually abide and faithfully pursue in the policy of truth.”
-depeche mode

I’m done typing, I’m so sick of coming back to this entry and trying to update it. Let’s just say I’m having a good time.

1 is a crowd. | sitting all by yourself?

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